Missing Packages
There is an apparent reason why you have to sign for your packages. A lonesome package waiting on your porch all day is too hard to resist. These unlikely criminals have been dubbed 'porch pirates,' and you will be surprised to find who has been helping themselves to your deliveries.
One man had found yet another package had been stolen and decided enough was enough. It wasn't just him. These geniuses teamed up to make a plan and get even. They would do it in the best way they knew how.
Blame The Postal Service
It boggles the mind to know that a third of all packages delivered to U.S residential homes go missing. Where do they disappear from pick-up and delivery?
The postal service is often blamed and called dysfunctional when these greedy 'porch pirates' are the ones behind it all. Despite the charming name, residents loathe their actions.
North Dakota Victims
Theft is more likely to occur in suburban, rural, or secluded areas and not in large cities as one would expect.
North Dakota is a state that has fallen victim to the highest package theft rates out there, with residents 26 times more likely to have their packages stolen. These residents are furious, and understandably so.
Holidays Turned Nightmares
The holiday season becomes a nightmare when thieves feel lured in by packages containing magnificent gifts, not the replacement doorknob you ordered. With the high theft rate, it wouldn't be a surprise if you've once been a victim too.
You have surely dreamt up ways of carrying out your revenge. These geniuses did, too, and they followed through with it.
Disgusting Revenge
Alec Armbruster was one of the first to seek revenge and had thankfully recorded the whole thing to the satisfaction of those wishing to do the same.
Alec had eventually grown fed up having been a regular victim and decided to do something about it. He had put together a disgusting package for the next thief. And he had some assistance.
Caught On Camera
The first prank consists of a video that had been thoroughly thought out. Alec had hoped to soak up all the satisfaction once he’d gotten his revenge.
His titled video: “I’m sick of my packages being stolen, so I got creative…” seemed to be long-awaited. Over 1 million people had watched it, obviously having thought about getting their own revenge one day.
A Parcel That Reeks
The video starts with Alec cleaning out a cat’s litter box, ensuring that not a single kitten dropping was left behind.
The kitten contents seemed to have been a build-up from over a couple of days because it filled the box lined with a black bag entirely to the brim. But his cinematic masterpiece had more to it.
The Plan Was In Motion
He placed his camera so that it could record through the glass door. In the video, he can be seen carefully setting the box on the porch steps and sneaking his helper into the tape as his cat joins him in putting together the setup.
Nothing happens for a while as they wait. A few days passed before their plan came together, but their plan had worked!
A Clean Get Away
The unsuspecting thief bravely makes his way up to the porch before checking if anyone is home by ringing the bell. He decided the coast was clear and quickly snatched the package before sprinting away.
Alec is happy to know that, in a few minutes, the thief will be opening his package for his well-deserved payback.
They Had A System
These package thieves had scouted enough houses to know which ones were expecting delivered packages.
It wasn’t too difficult when they could follow the UPS truck all day long. They were careful to leave a ten-minute waiting period between the truck and them, but they didn’t know that Alec had caught them tailing the truck on camera!
Pay Back
The package thief had expected to be rewarded for his efforts with something of great value, only to find a pile of smelly sand. Considering the parcel had been on the porch for a while, the smell had him gagging.
Hopefully it had taught him to leave packages alone. This guy seemed to have gotten it easy. Other thieves weren’t so fortunate.
Karma
The next group of thieves would wish they hadn’t gone parcel-picking that day. They would soon face someone they’d wish they didn’t have to.
Mark Robert was an engineer who had created an elite revenge package. What was inside was far worse than just kitty litter. He had planned for his revenge to be brutal and instant.
A Guy From NASA
Former NASA engineer, Mark, was a nice guy who had spent his time working at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory. He’s never wanted to hurt anybody but he does have a few tricks up his sleeve…
He has a particular prank in mind for the porch pirates that is an art form in itself. It was sure to mess up their day.
Nobody Gets Hurt
He had come to the realization that these thieves had a problem with keeping their hands to themselves and so began working on a plan.
He didn’t want to hurt anybody but wanted to send a clear message. What was an excellent way of telling someone to back off and leave what wasn’t theirs? Glitter?
Long Term Planning
Mark worked on executing his plan for six months and had help from a friend. They worked tirelessly to capture the most epic revenge video for those who had fallen victim to the Porch Pirates.
What they had created would be the perfect glitter weapon, getting glitter within every inch, nook, and cranny. And there was more.
Trending
Mark’s video made it a satisfactory #3 on the trending list. Revenge was sweet.
His video is ten minutes long and starts off with an explanation about how his booby trap had been made. He explains that it will drench the thieves in fart spray while blasting glitter all over them that will have them sparkling for days. He calls his masterpiece the “Package Thief vs. Glitter Bomb Trap”.
A Sight To Behold
His gadget set loose a tornado of vibrant glitter, along with five suffocating fart sprays every 30 seconds and is something to behold.
The video captures the cloud of color-changing glitter, and the man can be referred to as a cinematic genius. The feedback from the video had the comment board bursting! You can’t help but love the video.
The Perfect Shot
His creation made use of 4 iPhones each set into motion by two latches with the lid was pulled open.
Mark explains that the circuit board had been custom made as the brains of the device. An accelerometer had been built that checked the GPS signal if it was jostled. The GPS would be able to detect if the parcel had been moved, and if it had been, the iPhones would wake and record the entire thing. He’d used four to ensure he got a wide-angle view.
Smart Thinking
He describes his choice of using glitter as a way to congratulate the thieves on their choice of profession. Who doesn’t like glitter?
He elaborated further about his creation and said that the phones have GPS, so they created a virtual geo-reference around his house. That way, he’d be notified when the package has left his porch.
They Saw Everything
It didn’t take long for the final stages of his plan to be put to work. It was made even better when they managed to get all the footage! Mark described what happened with a look of excitement on his face.
It seemed like the man had walked down the pavement and then made a sudden left turn. He had climbed into his car with the package and made it all the way to his garage before the action started.
Just Desserts
The first worthy victim is a young thief and he was really not impressed but you can hear in his voice that he knew he deserved it. He whines to a friend, “My car dude. It’s all over my car.
[It’s on] Everything!” And the second group, they don’t manage to open it properly so it wasn’t so visual, but everyone in the car is yelling to ‘Throw it out!’ and ‘What’s that smell?”
The Best Prank
Of all the thieves caught out by this fantastic gadget, I think the man shown last is my favorite. He managed to hold in the excitement of opening the package until he got home.
As the lid is lifted off you hear and see the glitter being flung across the room and he just stands there, absolutely still and silently. The device plays a recording, “Keep the change you filthy animal.”
Aftermath
The dazed man has a look of resignation on his defeated face as he fetches a vacuum cleaner and starts trying to clean up the devastation left by Mark’s device of Instant Karma.
A layer of fine glitter covers every surface of the room, and the camera keeps rolling. You almost feel sorry for this hapless package thief. Almost.
Support
Mark’s viral footage of package thieves receiving their comeuppance and the spectacular device that made it all possible has become an instant hit among netizens.
After all, what’s better than watching a smug porch pirate excitedly open his ill-gotten loot–just to have it all blow up in his face! In order to protect the privacy of those depicted, some names, locations, and identifying characteristics have been changed and are products of the author's imagination. Any resemblances to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, are entirely coincidental.