34 Roasts From Jimmy Fallon’s #ThatWasColdBy Anglina Roberts
Jimmy Fallon, stand-up comedian and host of The Tonight Show, asked the internet to provide him with some comments. What kind of comments? The shady kind – roasts, if you will. Comments that sound harsh when they are first said, but get funnier and funnier with age. Surprisingly or not, tons of people have received these kinds of roasts and they decided to share by tweeting Fallon at #ThatWasCold. The best ones were picked up and said on the late-night show!
Can you think of any funny roasts from your life that you’d like to tweet? Maybe something a college roommate, sibling, or even a parent said long ago – or yesterday. These roasts can walk the line between offensive and funny. Usually the first time around, we feel burned. But as the days pass, we feel a bit cooler and can look back at it and laugh. Here are 34 of those roasts sent to Jimmy Fallon’s #ThatWasCold. Let’s fire them up!
Fallon’s Workout Isn’t Working Out
Jimmy Fallon is an energetic talk show host and to keep up that level of energy, he needs to follow some healthy habits. One of those is going to the gym. However, despite –excuse the bad pun – fallowin’ a strict gym routine, not everyone noticed.
Yikes! At first, the “compliment” might have been a bit annoying or demeaning, but after a while, Fallon was comfortable enough to laugh at it – and then share it on Twitter! It looks like working out might not be working out for the talk show host.
Shopping for clothes online can be a bit of a gamble because we don’t know if the clothes will fit. Visiting a store lets us try on clothes, but stores don’t always have what we want. Therefore, many of us take our chances and shop online.
Yikes! That roast burned a bit too much. Even if it’s from your 11-year-old son, remarks like that can do some damage to your self-esteem. It’s important to keep in mind that swimsuits are meant to show off all different kinds of bodies – so gear up and enjoy the beach!
Dad’s Comedic Timing
For many people, parents are an invaluable source of support and care. They cheer us on at our sports games or politely but strictly lay down the law if we cause trouble at school. However, this isn’t always the case.
As the saying goes, “the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree” – so better take that statement back, dad! More likely is that Merc’s dad saw a perfect moment of comedic timing and went for it. A moment too late and it would have been plain mean, not funny. Well-timed!
A Parent’s Complaint
Corinne’s situation is something many of us can relate to. We all have rough times in our lives, whether it be a teenage rebellion phase or a difficult transition. Whatever Corinne’s situation may be, her parents were clearly upset with her behavior – and they knew just how to express it!
It sounds like it was one of those things parents say without thinking about it too much. Although it might have been a harsh roast at the time, hopefully, Corinne and her parents have gotten over it and can enjoy a good laugh together.
Every Up Needs a Down
Even when siblings share the same parents, they don’t always share the same traits. Each one has a unique personality and we think that’s great because otherwise, life would be dull! Often siblings complement each other – every up needs a down and every yin needs a yang.
Although the sister’s friend wanted to be charitable, her answer came out as anything but charitable. That’s fine though, not everyone needs to be so well put together – messy people can bring out the creativity and fun!
Learning The Colors
Games are a great way to keep kids entertained while they learn. There’s scrabble or hangman for learning new words, fun experiments to learn about science, and the classic I Spy game to build up observation skills. What did Tiffany’s daughter spy with her little eye?
Well at least we know she’s got the basic colors down! Next, learn about the different shades of yellow. Who knows, maybe one day Tiffany’s daughter will turn out to be a painter… or a dentist! Games are a great way to learn.
The Pregnancy “Compliment”
It can be hard for some women to lose their baby fat after giving birth. Life gets complicated with a newborn requiring your full attention. Finding the time to hit the gym and shed some pounds can get put on the back burner.
Although it sounds like the older lady made an honest mistake and wasn’t out to hurt Cindy’s feelings, it can still feel like a burn. If the burn stays, perhaps sign up for the gym and after a few months, you’ll never be asked the question again!
A Newfound Family
Sometimes we just don’t look like our parents. Rumors can grow that make us wonder where we came from. For Taylor Greenan, the rumors were put to bed by a harsh wake-up call from dad. Not what she expected… to say the least.
Well, maybe that explains why she’s a vegan! Even though it might turn out her parents aren’t human, a cow family doesn’t sound too bad – much better than a venomous snake or insect family! But we do wonder how that cow signed the birth certificate?
Classroom Tricks and A Treat
Halloween is the perfect holiday for kids – put on your scariest costume and eat all the candy you want! What’s not to love? If you’re a primary school teacher, getting students to make their own costumes is a great way to celebrate the holiday. Or is it?
Sounds like this quick-witted second-grader brought a trick to the teacher’s treat of a Halloween lesson! Was the student a class clown or scared of the teacher? Either way, the roast burned a bit at first but probably got some laughs later on.
A Boozy Birthday
Steve Adams had big plans for his younger brother’s 18th birthday. It was a “right of passage” that involved a little bit (alright, a lot of) alcohol. Although he might have had fun and grown into adulthood, it had some costs that weren’t all fun and games.
The truth comes out. To be fair though, a little bit of birthday fun (and booze) from a big brother doesn’t mean he’s crossed off the “good brother” list forever. Hopefully, they’ve both had a good laugh at it by now!
Knocked Down A Notch
Building self-esteem is a lifelong process that can sometimes feel like one step forward and two steps back. Parents can teach kids about this important value, but what happens when your kid accidentally chips away at your own self-esteem with an honest question?
Ouch! To be fair, kids are often unaware of how to ask questions in a way that doesn’t burn. Maybe this 10-year-old needs to work on his intonation. Either way, it opens up an opportunity to have a good discussion on being ok with yourself.
The Roasted Compliment
Some comments come across as insulting because they were meant to be. Other times, they weren’t meant to be insulting, but they come across that way. Check out how this seven-year-old told her mom she thought she was overweight.
In the early 2000s when long thin legs were the beauty standard, this could be taken as an insult. Nowadays, phat has become the new sexy, so it should be taken as a compliment! Plus Bethany has a great opportunity to show how confidence and attitude are what really matter!
Feeling tired can make us feel critical because our patience is low. Take Amy Allen for example. She was trying to get better as fast as possible but kept feeling much older than her actual age. When she asked her daughter about it, she got an unexpected answer.
Maybe Amy should have left it at that without asking how old she looks because it can be hard for kids to guess ages. Truth be told though, her daughter got quite close – sounds like she might be as wise as a 15-year-old!
Not A Famous Artist
The world can be a harsh place and many parents try to get their kids ready for it. This can take the form of subtly critiquing them or asking them to change their clothes or hair to look acceptable. For Kristan Higgins, it came through art.
That sounds a bit harsh at first. But, to put a positive spin on it, art is meant to bring out strong emotions from awe to anger. Maybe it was meant as a “tough love” lesson that told Kristan she had room for improvement. Keep practicing!
Back in the ‘70s and ‘80s, people were far more formal when they went out. A short 2-hour movie in a dark theater might require formal attire. Nowadays people are a lot more casual and jeans and sweatpants are acceptable for the movies. Acceptable to most.
As this tweet shows, there are still a few fashion sticklers out there who would prefer if people dressed up when going out. Despite this, the smart casual style has become standard in many places because our work and leisure lives are so often intertwined.
Loving Your Husband’s Art
There are many qualities you need to make a marriage last. Sharing interests and being able to compromise are high up on that list. Although you might share many values, art might not be one of those. Bruce Newman knows about that first-hand.
Overhearing that from your wife’s friend might be harsher than hearing it from your wife. Perhaps she compromised too much and kept her artistic likes inside in order to give him support. Understandable, but what art would she like?
Like Mother, Like … Dog?
Catalina decided to go for a walk with her dog on one fine day. She watched as her dog ran through the yellow flowers to have some fun and take in the sunshine. She snapped a photo of her loveable dog and, along the way, received a “compliment” from a passerby.
That’s a harsh compliment! The underbite makes this dog stand out, but the dog is much more than the underbite. Even if Catalina has an underbite, that doesn’t have to stop her from enjoying the day!
Inner and Outer Beauty
Comparing a new relationship to a past relationship isn’t good dating advice – especially if you want a second date! Each woman is unique and no one wants to hear about your old partners. It seems this guy didn’t get the memo.
This might explain why the guy who said that is no longer @isarunner007’s boyfriend. With a personality like hers, a guy who says something like that can’t expect to stick around too long. There’s plenty of fish in the sea and she’s bound to find a better catch!
Smile For The DMV
Taking selfies allows you to be in control. You can control the lighting, the angle, and the filters, which can lead to some glamorous shots. However, there are times when you don’t have control over the shot – when others have to take your picture.
Although Natalie might have felt pretty uncomfortable and roasted at the DMV, it’s fair to say that almost no one looks glamorous for their driver’s license pic. Most go for a bland-looking expression that always makes them look older than they are. It’s something we all live with.
Sibling rivalries are as old as siblings. We often compete with our brothers and sisters, maintaining a love-hate relationship. Although we might argue a lot, we learn to tolerate our siblings – and poking fun at each other helps us do that!
When reading it in a tweet, it’s hard to know her sister’s tone of voice. If it was said in a serious way, then it’s going to leave some hurt. However, if it was said sarcastically, then maybe it’s a way for them to bond. What did Wendy say back?
Plenty of world-famous actors have gone to auditions that didn’t work out. For example, Meryl Streep was once denied a role because she was “too ugly”, yet later she played Miranda Priestly in Devil Wears Prada. That should be some uplifting news for this next Twitter user.
Perhaps the auditioners thought that @discountjonahh1 had a magnificent voice but wasn’t the right look for what they needed. It’s hard to tell. We say to continue trying out for those auditions. If rejections still come, a bit of humor will help lighten the mood.
A Grain of Salt
Many primary-school teachers are well aware that kids don’t always have a way with words. Sometimes they haven’t mastered how to say things kindly so they end up saying things that sound mean. Therefore, a lot of teachers learn how to take their words with a grain of salt.
If this student was older, it might have been meant as a threat. But, at such a young age, it was probably a sincere compliment said incorrectly. It’s best to put on a smile, thank the student, and laugh it off.
As we grow older, our social circle often shrinks from dozens of acquaintances to a few close friends. Sometimes, those friends might not be on social media, so Facebook doesn’t count them as friends. As Kelly learned, that can lead to some awkward moments.
Although that might burn a bit when said by a Facebook bot, friendship is much more about meeting up in person and spending time together than sharing pics online. So, maybe it’s time to meet up in person and laugh about what Facebook sent you online.
Beauty standards are often upheld by other people and forced upon us – we are told what we should wear and look like. Sometimes this works well, but other times we’re too rushed to think about it. But what happens if the pressure comes from a preschooler?
Looks like someone needs to find a new ride home from school! We’re joking, but the pressure this preschooler is putting on her mom is a bit intense. Cut mom some slack! Most likely she’s been up, cooked breakfast, and gotten everyone ready. Now it’s time for work.
Working On Style
Often our friends who are the meanest are also the most honest. Sad, but true. They aren’t concerned with hiding uncomfortable truths to make you feel better. Instead, they tell it like it is. Although it might not feel good, it can often be useful information that we build upon.
That one must have hurt, but it was delivered in such a sweet way that it lightened the blow a bit. Not everyone is an interior designer, so maybe it’s something Vivi Holt needs to work on – or maybe she can embrace her own style!
Expecting a child can be an exciting time that fills you with the desire to teach your newborn many things. Sometimes this excitement can be a bit naive, so it can help to have a little dad humor to cut you down to size. Mouthy Canadian figure this out first-hand.
Well done on the joke, dad! That must have broken some of the tension built up when expecting a newborn. It sounds like it was said with humor, but in case it wasn’t, Mouthy Canadian needs to learn some new stuff – and quick!
Who doesn’t like to get a discount? Paying less for the same quality of service is a great gift. However, sometimes the reason for giving this gift leaves us questioning the discount. Stephan knows about that first-hand.
Ouch – senior discount at 35! To be fair, it happened while he was living in South Korea teaching English. It can be difficult to guess the age of a person from a culture different from yours. So, what do you do? Take the discount or correct the waitress?
Pay With My Own Money
Stereotypes can stick around for a long time. Although we all have them, we are often unaware of how they affect others until we say something that hurts them. Seems like @krivar got a taste of this when out shopping with her young son.
Sounds like the older woman is still living in a world long since gone. Women’s roles have changed quite a lot and this gainfully employed scientist doesn’t have time for the old ways. She’ll pay for the groceries with her own money!
A Bitter Compliment
Nowadays, women have much higher standards when it comes to the men they want to date. Cheap or negative comments are out! Many just want a man who is self-sufficient and respectful. Let this tweet be a warning on what to avoid.
Did she go on a second date after an opening line like that? We wouldn’t. It sounds more like a diss than a compliment. Maybe flick a bitter drink in his face to give him a little taste of his own medicine. Thanks but no thanks.
Everyone Makes Mistakes
Being a waitress can be a stressful job. You have to carry heavy trays to hungry customers who want their food right away. All this for relatively low pay that relies on tips. An ideal customer is one who understands that and is accommodating to common mistakes.
Even if “accommodating” means making your kids the butt of the joke! Whether the middle child was a planned pregnancy or not (we think it was), the important point is that it broke the tension and allowed the waitress to relax a bit.
Do We Look Alike?
Not everyone is a fan of track meets. Especially parents who have to keep an eye on all their kids while managing the politics and banter of other parents and those around you. Susan seemed like she was doing a great job…until that one comment came!
Yikes! Family genes don’t always get passed on. There have been plenty of models and celebrities born to average-looking parents. Besides the fact that looks aren’t everything, it’s also important to know that how you look doesn’t affect how fast you run!
High school can be an awkward time for dating. Many teenagers are unsure of themselves, unsure of how to speak, and unsure of how to behave. Many stay single until they get to college. What do their old high school friends think then? Ask Amy.
It’s true that some people bloom later than others and college is when they come out of their cocoon. This leaves us wondering what Amy was like in high school? Was she that much different? Either way, we wish both Amy and her friend the best!
Hats Off To You
This kid knows that life is short and that you might as well enjoy it while it lasts. Things we take for granted in childhood can be lost when we reach adulthood. Most kids don’t grasp that until they’re older. Travis’s son is not like most kids.
Enjoy the hair while it lasts! Unfortunately, though, receding hairlines are usually passed on from parent to child. Travis’s son seems to be aware of how precious his time with a full head of hair will be. Hats off to him!
Many kids are blissfully ignorant of how much effort it takes to keep everything running smoothly – to pay the bills, keep the fridge stocked, and clean the house. When you add cooking a full meal, things can get overwhelming.
We live in a world of convenience, so why not take advantage of it? Frozen veggies every once in a while isn’t that bad. On the alternating days, maybe Kelly’s daughter can help make a nice meal and see the effort it takes. Who knows, maybe she’s a budding chef!