Each State Perfectly Portrayed By One Photograph - Parents Dome Stories

Each State Perfectly Portrayed By One Photograph


America, the Beautiful! It’s more than just 50 states; it’s (at least) 50 different cultures, too, with something to excite everyone!

While most citizens have a favorite place or two, it’s tough to become an expert in such a big country. Many people, especially those who live outside the US, tend to clump all the states together and view all American citizens as simply “American”. Is that the truth?

These pictures go to show that there’s far more than meets the eye: regional differences, cultural divides, and pride on a local level like you’ll find nowhere else on the planet. So what exactly makes New Hampshireans noticeable, or South Dakotans stand out above the rest? Read on and find out what makes each state tick.

Only In America

No way, that is so wrong to do! The truth is that each state is a unique experience, with its own timeless attractions. Except for Idaho, a million and a half people with nothing to do but peel potatoes at that high school featured in local film Napoleon Dynamite. We kid, of course!

Now, a list to embody every state using one just picture to “rule them all”. People often insist their home turf is an all-around winner, but which one is the wildest and wackiest? 

Read on to compare all those united states, coast to coast, top to bottom!

Maine

Legend has it, the Vikings discovered Maine over 1,000 years ago. But what’s going there, these days? Located in such a sneaky, northern corner of the country, some may forget about Maine entirely. But that’s just not right!

This Mainster is doing just about everything he can to enjoy the winter. And it’s legendary cold, up there! Drinking beer and ice fishing is a pastime that only works during peak season, though. It looks like it’s nearing the end of the chilly months, and he’s about to float away! Sober up, sir.

Florida

With all those crazy stories emanating out of Florida, it’s not an easy task to pick just one photo that describes the everglade state experience. But one thing’s for sure: It needs at least one gator!

Imgur / Frake

Why, with1.25 million alligators slithering around in the state, locals are smart and try to get accustomed to to them. Better than living in fear! This dad will undoubtedly teach his daughter to conquer reptiles in the near future. For now, this baby gator can be restrained. But tomorrow, revenge!

Massachusetts

The Boston accent is world famous at this point, but not everyone is a fan! Some say it’s too harsh. City natives Bill Burr and Nick DiPaolo disagree!

Lovers and haters alike have their reasons, but both will be amused to see the state represented in one quirky roadside photo. Wicked Stawm Comin’ is exactly how it should be done! Nice job, city sign workers. Perhaps more local communication would make traffic smoother all over the country. Coming soon, hopefully?

Tennessee

Memphis, Knoxville, and Chattanooga agree: In Tennessee, whiskey and guns are king. But hopefully, not at the same time!

Fun fact: Jack Daniels survived prohibition because its gangster owner got a medicinal use exception and then sold it to bootleggers. Very clever! And as to guns, around 40 percent of Tennesseans pack one these days. Open carry is even legal here, with the right permit! Sounds wild, and these fellas seems to have mastered a real Tennessee art around the hobby. Posing and aiming in camo! 

Texas

Down home on the range must get a little boring sometimes. This Texas resident decided to venture out, cattle in tow!

Imagine, a state where the drive-through is ready for customers on horseback. Imagine Texas! Maybe that’s because the cowboy capital of the world produces the most beef kin the nation, beating out Nebraska and Kansas for the top spot. Texas generates at least $10 billion a year in cattle, yippee ki-yay! Where’s the beef? Asked and answered.

New Hampshire

New Hampshire is probably best known for their bold state motto: “Live Free or Die.” Intense and abstract, maybe a visual is needed to put this idea into context. How about this rebellious moose?

Wildlife is abundant in New Hampshire, and people usually live in harmony with the animals. Maybe 3,000 Moose in the state just create a necessity to get along! This backyard hosted a large visitor one afternoon enjoying the pool. Do the rules say no moose allowed? Why that sounds like a New Hampshire invitation. Swim free or die!

Alabama

Sweet Home Alabama is not just a movie for millions of Americans. Regular ‘bama residents are proud of all their local quirks, whether it’s BBQ, college football, or sweet tea in the southern sunshine. And the waterfront is king!

Imgur / NoForethought

One man’s chair-boat honoring the Crimson Tide team is clearly Alabama action, captured on film. But authentic Alabama includes a lot of good company: Mia Hamm, Courtney Cox, and even former Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice! Are they also ‘roll tide’ fans at heart? The mystery continues, y’all!

Michigan

Hoo boy, it’s deer season again! In the snowy Midwestern north, this is a big deal. Still, one man seems to have taken the hunting lifestyle a little farther than usual. Or maybe, a lot farther!

In Michigan, safety-trained hunters from the tender age of 10 can shoot bear, deer, turkey, elk, small game and waterfowl. Plus, there’s plenty of fur trapping, too! There are over 700,000 licensed hunters up there, but one guy seems to be setting a whole new standard. An entire car exterior of decapitations? That’s Michigan, baby!

Kansas

The essence of Kansas might be warmth, humility, God, and country. Or, it might be tornadoes! Both are correct answers, as any resident will tell you!

Shutterstock

This artistic Photoshop job does capture the national perception of Kansas, if not the facts! The real-life setting of The Wizard of Oz does have wild weather. But maybe its reputation is a bit exaggerated by fiction. As it turns out, the state only holds the 8th spot on the twister list, behind Tennessee, Alabama, Iowa, Indiana, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and even Mississippi!

Utah

Utah seems to be synonymous with Mormons and a big, salty lake. But is that really the whole truth about this low-key, rural Western state?

Deviant Art / stoneback123

Well, maybe. It isn’t that much of an exaggeration! 1/3 of all Mormons in America live here, numbering around 2 million out of a population of around 3 million. This photo shows a traditional polygamous family structure, which is illegal now. 

But every once and a while, this is still discovered! Different strokes for different folks, as they say.

Kentucky

The Commonwealth of Kentucky is rightfully known for quite a few pretty ladies in hats and horse derbies. And of course, for chicken! Fried chicken, done just right.

But is it being spelled just right, on this sign? In these parts, “chickun’s” that are “far-sale” come in all sizes. Biddies and growd ones, alike! 

Perhaps this is just the place to finally figure out whether KFC is too commercialized. Would Colonel Sanders approve of this meat? Only a taste test will do!

Virginia

Virginia may not be known as the state where the moonshine flows like water, but some locals like to keep the tradition alive. Call Bill Jones for a free sample!

With all the high-quality booze available these days at any liquor store, the moonshine connoisseur has become something of a rarity. But there’s a lot to be said about old fashioned fun, and Virginians hiding deep in the forest with Mr. Jones seem to know all about it. Just remember, don’t tell the police!

Maryland

If anyone thought Baltimore was a wild city, take a look at the entrance to state lines right here! Terrible timing, that’s for sure. The sign seems so friendly, but the flames aren’t quite convincing!

Twitter / @billybilly1985

Fun fact: Maryland has been ranked nationally at the top of the list for bad drivers. Yes, really! Perhaps there is something honest about this well-timed photo, if only by accident.

Hawaii

Luaus, grass skirts, and surfing? Why, that’s Hawaii! Breezy and beautiful, what would stop millions of Americans from just moving straight to paradise?

Shutterstock

Probably the lava. We all think of Hawaii as a garden of Eden of sorts, but the volcanoes are no joke. Every once and a while, they explode with hot goo. Road closed, you say? More like road gone! 

Everyone hopes Maui is never swallowed up by the Pacific Ocean, but there’s always a risk. Anyone who prefers the hurricanes of Florida instead can still enjoy a few tropical beaches on the mainland!

South Dakota

Ah yes, South Dakota. The southernmost of the Dakotas! Mount Rushmore is probably the best-known scenery of this wild state, but people often forget one very special sight to see.

Newsflash: Buffalo still roam free up there! Cousin of the cow, there used to be millions grazing the heartland. After endless hunting, however, settlers almost caused them to go totally extinct.

 Today, conservation efforts have gotten their herd up to around half a million. And now, it’s possible to try them in a burger! Delicious, according to some. Yum, yum, yum.

Minnesota

Land of 10,000 lakes? Or land of mysterious frozen beauty? No conflict there, actually — Minnesota has it all!

It might be time for a renaming, though. One suggestion: Land of the frozen butt cheeks. In a place where a snow day is just a Tuesday and the universities have tunnel systems to safely get around campus, there should be a warning for tourists! Don’t be fooled if you visit in July. Minnesota is not for the faint of coat.

This state is positively, Siberian!

Arkansas

You’ve got to love this old dude hunting from the comfort of his hot tub. But where is this really a thing? Only in Arkansas, ladies and gents!

Drinking and shooting are not exactly recommended for hand-eye coordination. But gun enthusiasts will notice that this man has at least put safety first with that orange hunting hat. There’s no way anyone is going to mistake him for a buck in the wild! Positively neon, this man will not be brought down. Not today, anyway.

California

Some people might think California is the surf capital of the country. And they would be right! The waves out there are a pretty big deal, and locals love their water sports.

Reddit / AnotherSmegHead

This surfboard accident is a real ‘only in Cali’ kind of moment. Driving in bumper to bumper traffic is no fun, but imagine an unsecured board smashing straight through the window during stop and go! Terrible, really. At least this man can enjoy the island sunshine while he waits for AAA!

Colorado

Weirdos, mother nature, and legal marijuana? That could only be a conversation about Colorado! These days, the hippies are taking over. And as they say, if you can’t beat them, you may as well join them!

This happy place is sometimes overlooked outside of ski trips. But rolling around in the fields outdoors is just as worthwhile! This girl knows exactly how to enjoy the Colorado mountains during the warmer season. And she’s probably a pretty entertaining guest in the grass. Just look at her roar!

New Jersey

This proud, lifelong New Jersian was named “Tan Mom” by locals for a good reason. Look at that golden brown, people! It made the evening news. What did Governor Chris Christie think about this new Garden State role model?

WCBS-TV

As it turns out, he was pretty concerned. This customer was so addicted to tanning that she brought her five-year old daughter in to continue the family tradition! The ‘Tan Mom Law” was signed to ban anyone under 17 from tanning beds, after a lot of publicity from this case. Even the cast of The Jersey Shore collectively shuddered at this one. Yikes, ma!

Delaware

Well, well. The first state in the nation may be tiny, but it’s full of big deals! Who knew that shopping was tax free, just over the border?

What do those lucky Delaware folks actually buy, though? Well, the answer very well might be fancy bikes. Delaware is consistently ranked in the top five most friendly cycling states. The League of American Bicyclists approves! 

Still, locals knows know that most people still drive as their go-to transportation. The state motto might be “liberty and independence”, but buckling up is not optional!

Georgia

Home of the peach and the classic southern belle, Georgia has a lot to offer. But peches? That’s certainly something new!

Twitter / @JumpingZachs

Now, some might claim that this humble fruit vendor can’t spell. But is that really what’s going on here? It happens to be the word for peaches in French, as all français students know very well. 

Perhaps an old linguistic tradition survived in this small town, and they don’t even know where it came from! Either way, it’s Georgia delicious.

Indiana

Right in the middle of the country lies the hidden gem of Indiana. Residents know that they can always enjoy calm and honest living in the heartland. Still, is this Indiana sign a little too honest?

Gasoline certainly sounds like a necessity, but it seems like a lot more than that might be happening at Sherrill’s! What are they serving on the side of the road, cabbage and beans? Who wants a gassy experience after eating at any restaurant? Very few, outside Indiana. 

Surely the Hoosier state can do better PR than this ill-conceived ad! Tipton, you’ve been warned.

Idaho

There 50 states in the United States, and it seems like they don’t all get press equally. One justified complaint might come from the people of Idaho. But the message might not get through since only 1.75 million people live there!

Reddit / JustCallMeDave

Yes, it’s a quiet place out in Idaho. Some people love the peaceful landscape, and all-you-can-eat potatoes. This sad vending machine says a lot about the density over there. Just one lonely box, and no one to use it! Maybe one day, Mr. Pepsi cans.

Connecticut

This photo encapsulates Connecticut’s ridiculous overpricing and is as subtle as Connecticut is expensive. It reads, “Beware of Attack Seagull.” That’s “seagull”—singular, so there is a specific attack seagull in these parts. Then they charge children to throw or skip rocks.

Florida

Who hasn’t played the Florida google game at this point? Just put in your birthday and this state keyword, and you’ll find things beyond your wildest nightmares!

What about this hair do, though? This man seems to have been missed by powerful search engines. Until now, of course! Business in the front, party in the back is exactly what’s going on here. Residents should thank this man for keeping Florida the place of the weird and wonderful. The Sunshine State is like no other!

Mississippi

In this picture, you see one of the skinniest men in all of Mississippi, the state where a good diet consists of a pile of seared beef for starters, mains, and dessert. It also happens to be the state of high cholesterol, but we’re not pointing out a correlation . . .

Missouri

It’s the land of mystery . . . I mean, who the hell knows what goes on in this state? And this monster truck school bus certainly does not shed any light on the matter.

Montana

Now, this is a state I wouldn’t mind visiting. Hot guys and cute bears in Jacuzzis—sign me up! Montana is mostly rural with a few “cities” sprinkled in. We use the term “cities” lightly; when there are more moose crossing signs than traffic lights, it’s not a city.

Nebraska

The state that reeks of cow poop and regret. The only thing to ask yourself if you find yourself in Nebraska is why? Not to mention, they do not provide the best highway rest areas for passersby . . . although it certainly looks like an experience.

Nevada

You can’t really judge a place like Nevada for being weird. Home to gambling, drinking, and prostitution, anything goes. Except eating lobsters, of course, because that makes total sense. A guy wanted to build a lobster farm but was refused, so this is a sign he placed on the road. Nevada: “Sounds legit.”

New Mexico

If it ain’t green chile or a low rider, New Mexico wants nothing to do with it. Their slogan is “Cleaner than regular Mexico”, and that’s about the only standard they hold to.

New York

Never mind pictures of the skyscrapers and busy streets, New York is most known for the giant rats that are big enough to eat full-size pizzas! The only thing that would make this picture any more New York would be scratch and sniff, so you can smell the awful garbage odor that New York City emits.

North Carolina

North Carolina is not well known for its school district (or acceptance of differences), but at least it has top-notch cigarette brands. Spelling mistakes aside, North Carolina is a terrible place to be different.

North Dakota

North Dakota, the land of hockey and guns. Hockey is basically foreplay in the state that is colder than any other, so keep an eye out for those co-ed leagues and hockey competitions where the prizes are—you guessed it—guns!

Ohio

Oh, Ohio . . . the place where anything goes, and manners are not really a thing. Just check out these super classy residents spelling out Ohio, accompanied by three living people . . . and one dead.

Oklahoma

If you’re a college dropout, you make a beeline to this state, where the residents can drink anyone under the table. Mainly because there is nothing else to do there other than work on their drinking skills. Exhibit A is this keg bike, which pretty much sums up the place.

Oregon

If you think you’re a hipster, I can promise you that you have nothing on the residents of Oregon (mainly Portland). The hipsterest of hipsters and weirdest of weirdos reside in this state. This guy is a classic example of the common Portland resident in his happy place.

Pennsylvania

It’s no secret that the Amish invented extreme sports . . . and this Amish woman cruising through on her rollerblades is the perfect example. Pennsylvania is the home of the Amish and can feel like you’ve time traveled 100 years into the past.

Rhode Island

Rhode Island is the place where lobsters fight back and the accent is as terrible as it is impossible to understand. Don’t visit this state unless you’re ready to spend hours deciphering what the residents are trying to say.

South Carolina

And the award for the best South Carolina mother of the year goes to . . . this amazing multitasker right here! Epitomizing the values of the state, she carries a beer and a baby in one hand and a rifle as big as herself in the other. Gotta love America, right?

Washington

Who would have guessed that Bigfoot is literate? Of course, Washington state is the only one that gives out licenses to fictional characters. Bigfoot could even run for governor!

West Virginia

This is a stereotypical West Virginian star citizen. In this state, shirts are just a waste of space and time, and even pants aren’t much of a requirement. And can we talk about that mullet for a second? Hells yeah, we can, because it’s awesome.

Illinois

Gone are the peaceful days of the farmlands of Chicago. The state has practically become a warzone, with the title of murder capital of the US, and this photo is a perfect illustration. Chicago police now drive in tanks. Worried, anyone?

Wisconsin

If you are one of those people who find cheese to be their drug of choice (I LOVE CHEESE), Wisconsin is your dream state. Where else would you find a cheese drive-through? Liquor and cheese are the kings of this town.

Wyoming

Haven’t heard of Wyoming? Don’t worry, there are probably more cattle than residents in this state. And this photograph depicts the biggest traffic jam in 100 years. Mainly because there are a total of twelve cars registered in the entire state.

Alabama (Part 2)

The only state where you accessorize with discarded beer trash. The state hat of Alabama is a beer case, and most of the doctors wear beer-can necklaces to surgery. It’s just the way, okay? And this guy just got elected as Governor of Alabama.

Idaho

There 50 states in the United States, and it seems like they don’t all get press equally. 

One justified complaint might come from the people of Idaho. But the message might not get through since only 1.75 million people live there!

Alaska (Part 2)

When you grow up in a place like Alaska, you develop a totally different kind of threshold than the rest of the world. Maniacs like this think that -20 degrees F is a perfect day for a nice jog in the breeze . . . madness, I tell you.

 Arizona (Part 2)

Summer in Arizona easily reaches 120 degrees Fahrenheit. That’s why oven mitts come in handy, not only in the kitchen but also when you attempt to drive your boiling hot car without sizzling your fingers right off when touching the wheel.

Arkansas (Part 2)

Can you believe a sign like this is actually still standing in 2018? By far the most backward-thinking state, Arkansas reserves the right to refuse to serve gay people, proving themselves the most hate-filled state in all of America and reserving everyone their right to never step foot in the place.

California (Part 2)

The good thing is that it’s probably the safest and best place for gay people to feel themselves. The bad thing is that the new trend of huge earrings will eventually leave a whole generation of saggy earlobes.

Colorado (Part 2)

Colorado has all the beauty of being right in the middle of the mighty Rocky Mountains—and all the dangers of it, too! Including the mountain range, it’s full of dangerous bears that won’t think twice before gobbling up children . . . so be aware.

Alaska

A classic sight in Alaska, where it’s far from weird to see a traffic jam caused not by cars, but by bears! Bears are above the law and will fight where they want, when they want. All you can do is sit back and enjoy the National Geographic show happening before your eyes.

Arizona

If there is one thing known and feared in Arizona, it’s the forest fires. You come for the extreme heat and you leave because of it! But at least they acknowledge their state’s weakness with a laugh! This sign certainly put an embarrassed smile on every passerby’s face.

Connecticut (Part 2)

They may be the place that gave us George W. Bush, but they also give us some great humor. Exhibit A is this hilarious sign, which profusely apologizes for giving us one of the stupidest presidents America has seen.

Delaware (Part 2)

It seems Delaware is trying to make up for having the lowest African American population of any state with black license plates. Seems a bit counterproductive, but hey, who are we to judge?

Florida (Part 2)

Gone are Easter bunnies in this state (they have all been gobbled up by alligators). Now we only have Easter gators! It’s no wonder so many people suffer from bad gator bites. Don’t let the bunny ears fool you—this is not a furry friend!

Georgia (Part 2)

If you haven’t eaten at Waffle House, you can’t be considered a true Georgian resident. Open 24/7, these establishments are packed with drunk and hungry customers at every hour of the day. Line up for some low-quality, high-calorie, greasy dinner!

Hawaii (Part 2)

Only in Hawaii is Spam considered fine meat.  Due to the island’s remote location, they became dependent on Spam during World War II and have ever since come to love the canned mystery meat.

Idaho (Part 2)

If there is one mascot for the state of Idaho, it is the potato, which is reason enough to get the hell outta there. I’m not the hoe; you da hoe for living in Idaho.

Illinois (Part 2)

This is the reason the people look like they do in the state of Illinois, and it’s one of the reasons that obesity is rampant in the USA. Just look at that giant pie pretending to be a pizza. It’s Ludacris, I tell you!

Indiana (Part 2)

Any state where a tractor ride is considered a fun activity is a state where you know boredom reigns supreme, and that’s why any planned visit to this place should be postponed. Called the crossroads of America, Indiana is as boring as a crosswalk.

Iowa

This is a classic scene from the state of agriculture and cows. Just like you lock up your bike, so, too, you lock up your cow during school! Cows aren’t allowed in lots of places in Iowa, just like skateboarding and loitering.

Kansas (Part 2)

Any place that is known for its tornadoes and mobile homes is a place to be wary of; much like petrol and fire, it is one dangerous combination. Steer clear of this state and be different from this tornado—it obviously didn’t miss Kansas.

Kentucky (Part 2)

That’s actually the Kentucky state motto: “You Honk, We Drink.” I’m not sure where that motto originated, but many believe it was from the teachers union and their old slogan, which was, “You Exist, So We Drink.”

Louisana (Part 2)

Louisiana is home to the party capital of the States, New Orleans. Where else would you build an entire city under sea level but in a state that is known for its blues and booze, where pretty much anything goes? Add to that some giant drinks to go, lots of excess water, and loose nudity laws, and it sounds like a party to me.

Maine (Part 2)

Maine is known for moose in the streets and Moxie in the sheets. What’s Moxie, you ask? Just the way more disgusting version of any soda you will ever drink. We think it is made from either maple syrup or moose blood.

Maryland (Part 2)

Maryland is home to the wonderful Chesapeake Bay and its abundant seafood. There is no such thing as visiting this state without trying the seafood it offers. “Try the crab cake or get the heck out” is their state motto.

Massachusetts (Part 2)

Massachusetts is one of the states where equality reigns supreme, and it was the first state to allow same-sex marriages. Which is great, but now we are just missing a law that outlaws their terrible accents. Although, somehow, when Ben Affleck or Marky Mark Wahlberg speak, we don’t mind listening for hours.

Michigan (Part 2)

Michigan is covered in that white stuff all winter, and I’m not talking about snow. Michigan uses a super strong white salt on their roads in the winter, which, as you can imagine, is not the healthiest thing for your cars.

Minnesota (Part 2)

Minnesota’s golden boy is, of course, the legendary Prince, who changed the history of music. Now that he is gone, Minnesota has nothing to be proud of but the crazy low temperatures it can reach.

Mississippi (Part 2)

People in Mississippi are too dumb to realize they lost the Civil War over 150 years ago. They are basically stuck in a time warp and ready to go to war with the North. Hey, rebels, what are you being rebels against: education or hygiene? Ole Miss is the only university where everyone majors in one thing—beer.

Missouri (Part 2)

Missouri, the state where even the doctors fool around with food. Tip for you guys: you take the pizza out of the box, doc, and the pizza cutter isn’t used in surgeries anymore.

Montana (Part 2)

This is considered carpooling in Montana. Every resident in Montana must shoot and kill one elk or moose to graduate the third grade . . . and that’s about as far as the education will take you.

Nebraska (Part 2)

Nebraska: the land of corn and cow poop. This corn silo has the best corn break in all of Nebraska. All the surfers come from all around to hit it up.

Nevada (Part 2)

It may be a coincidence that Nevada has the highest concentration of Elvis impersonators and toxic nuclear waste, though we think not. You have to have something wrong with you if you decide to spend your life as an Elvis impersonator, or just be incredibly bored.

New Hampshire (Part 2)

New Hampshire is always a crucial destination for the presidential election, which is hard to believe, since there has basically never been an important person living in the state . . . which makes us wonder why anyone cares who these nobodies want to vote in for president.

New Jersey (Part 2)

The Jersey Shore brought us the worst of our society, and nature tried to destroy it with a hurricane. Does that say enough? Fake tans and blowouts, and those are the guys from Jersey.

New Mexico (Part 2)

Not much happens in New Mexico, so people have to invent things like UFOs for people to visit. If you lived in Albuquerque, you’d probably invent something funky in order to take attention away from living in New Mexico, too.

New York (Part 2)

New York, the only state where eating 50 hot dogs in 15 minutes is considered a championship and not a health risk. Life in New York is tough, so of course, eating hot dogs is one of the many ways they cheer themselves up.

North Carolina (Part 2)

In North Carolina, NASCAR is king, and they are a little backward. You can’t even use the bathroom if you are transgendered. They really love left-hand turns in North Carolina; they can watch a NASCAR event for hours and nobody turns right. What gives?

North Dakota (Part 2)

In North Dakota, it’s warm for two whole days a year, so you have to invent sports to keep yourself entertained. Here, we see the hugely popular lawn mower races, which garner huge crowds for North Dakota. Last year, 11 people showed up.

Ohio (Part 2)

The entire state of Ohio is constantly in repair. The state has three seasons, winter with construction and hot construction weather . Driving through Ohio presents the idyllic scene of orange cones . . . Just lovely.

Oklahoma (Part 2)

Oklahoma is where the US government sent all the Native Americans after we displaced their tribes. The state is big on Native American Pride, and that’s about it.

Oregon (Part 2)

Oregon is basically a giant forest, so the wild animals become domesticated at a crazy pace. At least this deer gets the bigger bed this time. The horns make it tough for it to get in the doggie door.

Pennsylvania (Part 2)

In Pennsylvania, sex is basically the currency. They even name their towns after sex. The sex-crazed state has plenty of sexualized town names; you should check out Blow Jobsville and ButtSex City.

Rhode Island (Part 2)

Mr. Potato Head was invented in Rhode Island, and that is all this tiny state has ever given our country. Why we haven’t just paved over this place, making a giant parking garage for New York, I’ll never know.

South Carolina (Part 2)

South Carolina, the classy state where you use your car as a dating profile. I’m guessing this dude only has sex with ugly women, because really, he must have a terrible personality and a small wiener. You know what they say about guys who jack up their truck . . . the higher they lift, the smaller their junk.

South Dakota (Part 2)

All South Dakota has going for it is that it’s not North Dakota. North Dakota is not the best place in the world, and the only cool thing about South Dakota is a mountain with four old, white dudes carved into it.

Texas (Part 2)

Texas is full of steers and more steers. This farmer is taking his prized cow for a butt wash before their big date night. They both look super excited.

Utah (Part 2)

In Utah, there is no such thing as one true love . . . more like a minimum of three! The state limits the percentage of alcohol allowed in each beer, topped at 3.4 percent, but as we wrote before, allows any man to marry an unlimited amount of women.

Vermont (Part 2)

If you’re an opinionated white person who has lots to say and no one to listen, go to Vermont. Bernie Sanders is the perfect example of a Vermont resident; he has some important things to say, but eventually, everyone stops listening and ignores him, just like Vermont.

Virginia (Part 2)

Virginia, where 99% of its residents are still living in the Civil War period and the other 1% live in the Washington DC suburbs. Virginia is where the term “hillbilly” originated and is currently thriving.

Washington (Part 2)

The Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle is the busiest tourist attraction in the city, and it is not exactly hard to understand why. If you live in Washington, smelling like fish is the number 1 requirement.

West Virginia (Part 2)

Twitter @newrivergorge

Ah, West Virginia . . . the state where teeth are an additional benefit and diving into mud is their most exciting event of the year. 

There is nothing for the ladies quite like a good redneck with no teeth and a good, mud belly flop. I hear it’s great for your skin!

Wisconsin (Part 2)

Lake life is booming in Wisconsin, and it’s probably the only state where the boats have bigger wheels than most cars, but that’s because more people are on boats than in the streets!

The South

Just for laughs, this picture perfectly sums up the South, a place where body hair and sports passion reach a happy middle. This guy loves himself some Dale Earnhardt and some NASCAR, just like the South.

The East

Nothing says the East Coast like a collar-popping douchebag with all the white privilege you could imagine. This guy decided 8 collared shirts would maybe prove his worth.

The West

The legalization of weed often affects the character of a state. Just look at the West Coast! Hippies are taking over and everyone has a special crystal they carry with them.

The North

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Come visit the North and enjoy 3 days of summer before the horrible winter overtakes the entire region again. Just like in Game of Thrones, the North is a place feared for its freezing temperatures.