Talking to each other is the first step to getting your plans together. About how you want to live later, for example, but also about how you want to live later. Are your wishes far apart? Or do you quickly agree? Here are three advantages of a fresh look at the future.
Come to a decision together faster
Some partners avoid difficult topics. No discussion means no argument, or so the thinking goes. But it doesn't get you anywhere. Suppose your loved one is thinking out loud about living larger, just when you have decided for yourself that you want to work less.
The American psychologist James H. Davis of the Texas School of Business demonstrated back in the early 1970s that people can reach decisions more easily together than separately. This is because the view of others can teach you to see things from a different angle. And that helps you let go of personal preferences and come closer together, Davis argued. So don't throw in the door in advance. Because your partner can't contribute to a solution if you don't tell them there's a problem.
It's good for your relationship
You took the bold step and put your future cards on the table. But during such a conversation differences often surface. For example, you would like to live abroad for a while, while your partner is a stay-at-home mom who doesn't want to leave the village.
Talking to each other is healthy, but listening is just as important. Several relationship researchers already concluded that couples who listen attentively to each other are more satisfied with their relationship. And listen not to answer, but to understand, clarified Canadian clinical psychologist Faye Doell in a study of communication within relationships (2003). Take the time to listen to each other's pleas. This shows that you take your partner seriously, and it increases your connection.
Planning goes easier when you know what you want
Eventually, you will see that talking about your future with each other is not only important but also a lot of fun. And now that you know what your partner wants, you can take a fresh look at your joint plans. With any luck, you will already have a list of wishes you both have. This will come in handy, for example, when moving to another house. Because if you know what your wishes are for the future, you can take them into account when making choices now.